Okay, Dustin. I was going through your journal and found this one interesting so I took it. Where should you live?? Take the quiz.
My results:FindYourSpot.com's quiz:

Carlisle, Pennsylvania
Altoona, Pennsylvania
Spokane, Washington
Roanoke, Virginia
Great Falls, Montana
Sheboygan, Wisconsin
Albany, New York
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Anchorage, Alaska
Ogden, Utah
Olympia, Washington
Tacoma, Washington
Hartford, Connecticut
Rochester, Minnesota
Salt Lake City, Utah
Johnson City-Kingsport, Tennessee
Cheyenne, Wyoming
Loveland, Colorado
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Knoxville, Tennessee
Eugene, Oregon
Denver, Colorado
Idaho Falls, Idaho
Corvallis, Oregon

Well it only took me a decade of listening religiously and I FINALLY got the chance to see Tool. Of course this is fucking Florida and it's storm season so after we wandered around and stood in the pouring rain and got patted down we finally got to go inside. There were atleast 14,000 people present because the show was a sellout. So we made our way around to the merchandise booth. As usual (with any show)most of the stuff was fucking overpriced so I settled with a 10,000 Days tour poster. The seats we ended up with were really bad and in the nose bleed section so we did the "sneaky make your way down the isles and climb over the balcony" routine; which was great because we ended up right there in the pit right in front of the stage. The Japanese band "Melt Banana" opened and to me sounded fucking awful. I can't state that they sucked scrotums completely because being among the huge mass of people was giving me one of my infamous anxiety episodes,so I really wasn't paying attention much during their set because they were irritating me. But the sound was hideous and I couldn't even hear the girl singing muchless interpret what she was saying(or even what language she was speaking with). Luckily they only played about a 30 minute set. Just long enough to smoke 2 cigarettes and take a piss after we got annoyed enough with the band to say fuck it and walk back outside. Okay.... we go back in and make our way back through the pit and.... we end up right in the front row again! Holy fucking shit we are lucky tonight. 20 minutes later the lights go out and we hear Jambi start. And it's the most brilliant fucking sound that's ever seeped into my ears. I got a straight on view of Justin Chancellor and I must say that out of the whole band he has the most energy. Maynard was on his usual platform setup and looked beautiful in his cowboy hat and jeans. I loved his frohawk. After Jambi ended he said "Good evening. This song is going to make your vaginas moist, including the men." They then proceeded into Stinkfist. The rest of the set included: 46&2,Schism,Right In Two,Lost Keys,Rosetta Stoned, Wings For Marie (part 1), 10,000 Days (wings part 2), Lateralus, Vicarious. All in all it was one of the best shows I've ever seen. The general sound was flawless, the music was hauntingly beautiful, Maynards vocals were angelic yet he managed to maintain a perfect medium of his ferocity throughout the entire 2 hours and 15 minutes. This is a moment in time that I will always cherish and remember with fondness for it's unparalelled beauty and raw passion.

I shit my pants when I was in the third grade. I'm quite certain that I could of held it in until patience would have brought me a more proper time and place but I did it for spite because the teacher told me "No." when I ask her if I could use the restroom. I use to masterbate persistently behind the couch when I was 5. I had no fucking clue what I was doing but it felt great so I've kept doing it to this day. I like penis. I have a fondness of them. I am completely straight, which is boring but it works for me. I've tried to be the little pseudo-queer(no offense to any doughnut bumpers who may be reading this) but the closest I got to actually being "Lesbian" was having a "phone relationship" with a girl which is pretty much ridiculous to me in the first place. So yeah, typical heterosexual here( But don't worry, Dustin. I'll still check out hot bitches and cute and nerdy librarians with you. :)) I fucking love Tool. I listen to them pretty much every day. I'm a geek for science fiction and cartoons. I partake in watching porn. I believe Scientology needs to be properly exterminated along with pretty much all organized religions. Right now as I am typing this out, I cannot sit flat on my ass in the chair because I have a gigantic insect bite right on the crack of my ass. It was caused from peeing outdoors into a bucket. I only have ONE true female friend that I know personally and care about deeply. She knows who she is. Most of the time I think this whole "online journaling" thing is rather idioteque, trendy, and lame. Which is why I rarely ever post anything at all muchless something of substance. However I keep it up just so I can view the individuals whom I care about. ____

18 days until the Tool concert.... :)

(15:03) [deathstar461] hey there
(15:05) [deathstar461] lol... I was driving around today, and was thinking of you giving that woman her enima, and then realized, that I now knew what the term "ass-spulunker" meant :-p
[Wings_For_Marie] lol
(15:07) [deathstar461] whats up?
[Wings_For_Marie] i think these fuckers are getting aroused my enemas
[Wings_For_Marie] that one yesterday was breathing a little too heavy
(15:08) [deathstar461] lol.. that cant be good
[Wings_For_Marie] lol
(15:08) [deathstar461] maybe repressded homosexuality
[Wings_For_Marie] I think so
[Wings_For_Marie] seriously
(15:08) [deathstar461] oh hey- check this out
(15:08) [deathstar461] http://www.last.fm/user/deathstar461/
[Wings_For_Marie] He was liking it
(15:08) [deathstar461] its this online music thing, that synchs with my mp3 player playlists
[Wings_For_Marie] I know the difference in liking and just breathing hard out of discomfort
(15:08) [deathstar461] so you can see what Ive been listening to lately

(15:08) [deathstar461] lol
(15:09) [deathstar461] "OH YES.... DEUCHE MY ASS!!!! YESSSSSS!!!!!"
[Wings_For_Marie] We could start a buisness.instead of meals on wheals
[Wings_For_Marie] thrills on wheels
(15:09) [deathstar461] lol... we can call it... A Enemia!
[Wings_For_Marie] that could be the name of our band
[Wings_For_Marie] lmao
(15:09) [deathstar461] there ya go
(15:09) [deathstar461] have you ever heard of GG Allin?
[Wings_For_Marie] suck fucking puppies
[Wings_For_Marie] i have yes
(15:10) [deathstar461] lol... sounds like something he'd do... Enemas on wheels
[Wings_For_Marie] lol
(15:10) [deathstar461] except he'd probably be giving them oraly
[Wings_For_Marie] ew
[Wings_For_Marie] nice
(15:11) [deathstar461] taking a mouthfull of laxitive, and spitting it directly into some old guys asshole
[Wings_For_Marie] hot
[Wings_For_Marie] lmao
(15:11) [deathstar461] lol oh yeah
[Wings_For_Marie] Seriously

[Wings_For_Marie] This guy was fucking bent over and liking it. And when I had to wipe him off, his cock kept twitching against the top of my hand. He was all grins and blushes.lol
(15:12) [deathstar461] ehhhhwww
[Wings_For_Marie] I know the sigh of inexplicable pleasure when I hear it
(15:12) [deathstar461] that would just make me feel so uncomfortable, me doing something like that to an old guy, and him liking it
(15:13) [deathstar461] I just hope Im not like that when Im old
[Wings_For_Marie] Oh yeah
(15:13) [deathstar461] lol- check this out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJmH9D3ke1w
[Wings_For_Marie] And it made me very uncomfortable
[Wings_For_Marie] Especially since he was packing wood the whole procedure
(15:14) [deathstar461] I dont even want to think about that
(15:14) [deathstar461] lol
[Wings_For_Marie] lol
[Wings_For_Marie] Good times.
(15:15) [deathstar461] oh yeah
(15:15) [deathstar461] so what have you been up to today?
[Wings_For_Marie] Nothing
(15:15) [deathstar461] fun
(15:15) [deathstar461] did you check out that video link?
[Wings_For_Marie] Yeah
[Wings_For_Marie] cool

(15:16) [deathstar461] lol... Chinee No Rikey Jerr-O!
[Wings_For_Marie] Just trying to clear the image of saggy nuts out of my mind
(15:16) [deathstar461] *brrrrr*
[Wings_For_Marie] Heh
(15:17) [deathstar461] I like this last fm thing... you can synch your playlists to it, see what other people are listeing to
[Wings_For_Marie] yeah
[Wings_For_Marie] i saved yours to the faves on the internet explorer
(15:19) [deathstar461] awesome
(15:19) [deathstar461] now you can stalk my music! lol
[Wings_For_Marie] And you can burn more shit for me
[Wings_For_Marie] lmao
(15:19) [deathstar461] then forward it to spyware!
(15:19) [deathstar461] :-p
(15:20) [deathstar461] lol... Ive been watching the music video for the Rolling Stone's Harlem Shuffle... its halarious
[Wings_For_Marie] Yeah
(15:20) [deathstar461] no one in that video is having a good time
[Wings_For_Marie] It is

(15:21) [deathstar461] I have a friend.... he worships about 4 bands: Iggy Pop, the Ramones, The Rolling Stones, and GG Allin
[Wings_For_Marie] lol
(15:22) [deathstar461] he's a drunken dumbass, but has all sorts of interesting stories
[Wings_For_Marie] They always do
(15:22) [deathstar461] he used to be best friends with GG Allin... and would somtimes talk to him about babysitting of all things
[Wings_For_Marie] I used to smoke dope with this old bitch when I was 15
[Wings_For_Marie] She had great stories
(15:22) [deathstar461] I can imagine
[Wings_For_Marie] Fucking ex groupie
(15:23) [deathstar461] ahhh... which band?
[Wings_For_Marie] Floyd and the stones
(15:23) [deathstar461] ahhh
(15:23) [deathstar461] yeah, I can imagine some good stories there
(15:23) [deathstar461] like the time Sid Barret freaked out and had a bad trip, and killed one of their drummers
[Wings_For_Marie] She would roll the fatest fucking Cheech and Chong joints

(15:24) [deathstar461] lol
[Wings_For_Marie] I did too many drugs when I was a kid. Lol
[Wings_For_Marie] But had many unforgettable experiences
(15:25) [deathstar461] there ya go... you now have stories to tell your kids
[Wings_For_Marie] Ha!

"And as the hours turned to days and time slowly passed me by, I realized that nothing in this world could have prepared me for this sweet despair"
Tomorrow is my Birthday. I will be 22 for anyone who cares to read this post. Here's hoping that Dustin gives me my Birthday spanking. <3

Today is Trent Reznor's Birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TRENT!!! <3<3<3

I have come curiously close to the end, down
Beneath my self-indulgent pitiful hole,
Defeated, I concede and
Move closer
I may find comfort here
I may find peace within the emptiness
How pitiful
It's calling me...
And in my darkest moment, fetal and weeping
The moon tells me a secret - my confidant
As full and bright as I am
This light is not my own and
A million light reflections pass over me
Its source is bright and endless
She resuscitates the hopeless
Without her, we are lifeless satellites drifting
And as I pull my head out I am without one doubt
Don't want to be down here feeding my narcissism.
I must crucify the ego before it's far too late
I pray the light lifts me out
Before I pine away.
So crucify the ego, before it's far too late
To leave behind this place so negative and blind and cynical,
And you will come to find that we are all one mind
Capable of all that's imagined and all conceivable.
Just let the light touch you
And let the words spill through
And let them pass right through
Bringing out our hope and reason ...
before we pine away.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAYNARD JAMES KEENAN! <3

I got a new kitten yesterday. It's gorgeous, with grey and white fur and big beaming blue eyes. Fucking adorable. I haven't named it yet though. I am open to suggestions.

I am finally feeling much better after finishing all of my antibiotics, and I'm counting the days until the new Tool album. **Squeals like a fucking school girl** 42 days remaining until May 2nd. Heh, May 2nd was also the day that Adolf Hitler's death was announced to the British people. May 2nd 1945. In case you didn't know. But fuck that, I care about the Tool album. And I am a fucking dork. : )
<3

(From Billboard.com)




Tool will break a five-year silence on May 2nd with its next Volcano album, 10,000 Days. No other details have yet been revealed about the project, which is the follow-up to 2001's Lateralus. That set debuted at No. 1 on The Billboard 200 and has sold 2.3 million copies in the United States, according to Nielsen SoundScan.

As previously reported, Tool will play its first U.S. show since late 2002 when it headlines the Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival on April 30th in Indio, CA. No other U.S. dates have been confirmed.

Afterward, Tool will spend the first portion of the summer playing the European festival circuit, with dates on tap through July 9th at Finland's Turku Festival.

Here are Tool's tour dates:


5/26 - Lisbon, Portugal at Parque Tejo
5/27 - Madrid, Spain at Festimad
5/29 - Barcelona, Spain at Razzmatazz
5/30 - Villeurbanne, France at Transbordeur
5/31 - Luxembourg, Luxembourg at Rockhal
6/2: Nurburgring, Germany at Rock am Ring
6/3 - Nuremberg, Germany at Rock im Park
6/4 - Landgraaf, Holland at Pink Pop Festival
6/5 - Hamburg, Germany at Sporthalle
6/7 - Berlin, Germany at Columbiahalle
6/8 - Dusseldorf, Germany at Phillipshalle
6/9 - Donington, England at Download Festival
6/17 - Nickelsdorf, Austria at Nova Rock Festival
6/19 - Milan, Italy at Filaforum
6/21 - Rome, Italy at Foro Italico Center
6/22 - Bologna, Italy at L.R. Arena
6/24 - Katowice, Poland at Spodek
/25 - Prage, Czech Republic at T-Mobile Arena
6/28 - Paris, France at Le Zenith
6/29 - Werchter, Belgium at Rock Werchter Festival
7/1 - Roskilde, Denmark at Roskilde Festival
4/4 - Kristiansand, Norway at Quart Festival
7/7 - Gothenburg, Sweden at Metal Town Festival
7/9 - Turku, Finland at Turku Festival


<3 Amanda.

Here's a turn off. When a guy moves in to kiss you and his breath reaks of stale pussy, being because he had just pulled it out of some whore's rancid cunt 15 minutes before he made his move on you. .... Yes, in case anyone's wondering, this has happened to me. : )

A little circle cracked upon the edge
Holding in her reflection a dead erected sand
Granular as sugar
Reflecting my undying light
From sand you appear unlike,unlike
Where do you meet the field?
Where do you kiss the dirty water?

Only got two hours of sleep last night, so i'm very sleepy, but still rather energetic. Went to George's Music store for some new strings. As I walked in and headed towards the wall of guitars I saw a guy that looked familiar. I studied him for a few moments not being able to place who the hell he was. He caught me staring at him, made direct eye contact with me, and so I got embarrassed and automatically looked away. Then I realized in an instant who he was. Heh.. He was the guy I had lost my virginity to several years ago, and he had recognized me right away, and it took me THAT long to even remember him. **laughs** He said "Hi." . I nodded. He asked me if I still played guitar every day. I said "of course" and then I just made my way to another isle..that was far away from him. It's a small world, I guess.




That's it for now. <3

The Patient

A groan of tedium escapes me,
Startling the fearful.
Is this a test? It has to be,
Otherwise I can't go on.
Draining patience, drain vitality.
This paranoid, paralyzed vampire act's a little old.

But I'm still right here
Giving blood, keeping faith
And I'm still right here.

Wait it out,
Gonna wait it out,
Be patient (wait it out).

If there were no rewards to reap,
No loving embrace to see me through
This tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.
Gonna wait it out.

If there were no desire to heal
The damaged and broken met along
This tedious path I've chosen here
I certainly would've walked away by now.

And I still may ... I still may.

Be patient.
I must keep reminding myself of this.

And if there were no rewards to reap,
No loving embrace to see me through
This tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.
And I still may.

Gonna wait it out.
( Yes, Maynard James Keenan is a fucking genius, an extraordinary songwriter, and a beautiful man in his own unique way.)